Armenian inside myself
By Mirmehdi Agaoglu
My views about the Armenians were shaped under the influence of the well-known slogan: “He who does not sit is Armenian1.
The events started in the central square. Millions of people squatted and rose at that command. Like the elders, we, the children, also had our own slogan: “Wherever you see an Armenian, strike his head with a bucket.” We had only one enemy. Armenian enemy. It was propagandized by AzTV, and was taught at schools. The Armenian dyghas2are our enemies.
We grew up inside that hatred towards the Armenians. The state propaganda presented the Armenians to us as an imaginary people that never had their own state, as parasites, cheap prostitutes parasitizing on the bodies of other countries. We found a confirmation to this in literature: Voyage to the Caucasus by Alexandre Dumas, Pushkin’s3 expressions3.
We thought that Babak’s4surrender by Armenian Sahl ibn Sumbat5, was an undeniable evidence that all the Armenians are insidious traitors.
For me, “Armenian” meant the same as a pig for a Muslim. It seemed to me that starting any kind of relationship with him was inadmissible under any circumstances.
Having been brought up under the influence of such kind of spirit, I could never understand my compatriots who did business with the Armenians or even were friends with them in Russia as they were presented to us as the most filthy people. I considered my compatriots traitors.
We were taught that the Armenians are a small people, that they have never had their own country and their own culture.
But if the Armenians are indeed (as we were told) such a small people, if they are traitors and thieves, then why in every book I read did I so frequently see the word “Armenian?” For statistics, I deliberately underlined the words “Armenian, Armenians” in all the books I read. At first, simply, for self-consolation, I simultaneously searched to find even one mention of the Azerbaijanis, but instead of it, every time and more and more often (as the number of the books I read grew), I saw the word “Armenian” and in a book about antiquity and the Middle Ages, I saw the expression “Armenian merchants.” In another book, I saw some paragraphs dedicated to the Armenians. The number of underlined words grew more and more and, simultaneously, my malice and hatred towards the Armenians decreased.
Well, let us assume that they created a false history. Then what force helped them place that false history in all sources?
Do you want to know the truth? Your own historians and propagandists taught you a lie for the past 20-25 years. Moreover, what the Armenians wrote about themselves is also rather exaggerated. Now just try to figure out where the lie is and where the truth is.
Every time I saw Armenian actors, Armenian scientists and Armenian representatives of other sectors on Russian TV channels, I was angry but asked myself, “If they are indeed such a tiny people which we can overcome easily, then why do we meet them everywhere? Why aren’t we like them?”
So, the hatred inside myself gradually turned into a “miserability complex.”
I was angry because I had been deceived all this time.
Purely for the sake of interest, I started contacts with Armenian girls on Mail.ru. They said, “Your guys are rude, bad-mannered and dissolute, they swear obscenely and insult.”
I tried to be polite. Naturally, I did not use bad language and insulting words. I told the girls that I am different, I am not like them.
Sometimes we talked about the war. We tried to figure out who is right and who is to blame, forgetting that it is the presidents, not we, who should find a solution to the conflict. As soon as we realized this little truth, the entire pathos disappeared somewhere and we returned to the conversation about ordinary life.
Eric Hoffer said that each mass movement shapes its own image of enemy.
Our childhood coincided with the movement of the crowd in the square and since then, we created a big Armenian enemy, we grew it and developed it, increasing and blowing up its size. We eventually blew it up so much that we started seeing not reality, but what we wanted to see.
There is no sense in fabricating something about the Armenians and humiliating them using the Internet every time an opportunity presents itself. There will always be those who will say that it is nonsense and falsification.
But every time there will be a shock at the knowledge of what our enemy is in reality and what it is capable of.
P.S. Comments by Azerbaijanis are particularly noteworthy: